The Fourth Ceremony: The Sacrifice Trilogy Read online

  She backed herself up to the wall and looked out across the vast water. She sucked in the warm air and ducked under the water. Then, she shot from the wall and began her swim. Although the pool was larger than any in the empire, she had made sure of that, she could still reach at least a third of the way before coming up for air. Staying under the surface had become a game for her at one point. She remembered having contests with her father on who could hold their breath the longest. She had always won, because he had always let her. Even when she accused him of such, he still let her win. It became amusingly infuriating.

  Arm, arm, arm, breathe, and…. Arm, arm, arm, breathe, and….

  She kept her rhythm, clearing her mind of the celebration this afternoon.

  Arm, arm, arm, breathe, and…. Arm, arm, arm, breathe, and…

  She forgot about the argument with her mother. She made an effort to forget about her mother completely. She ignored the sting of her mother’s indifference and the power of her cool shoulder.

  Arm, arm, arm, breathe, and…. Arm, arm, arm, breathe, and…

  She erased the approach of the Fourth Ceremony and its implications. Willed herself to forget that the water, that was now her sanctuary, would soon be her grave. Reminded herself that she had an entire year, that so much can happen in a year. Who was she kidding? The sacrifice had been successfully completed forever, and the people believe it made them prosperous. They wouldn’t call it off. They couldn’t call it off. No matter how scared she was. No matter how badly she didn’t want to be The Sacrifice anymore. She knew that she would give it all back, all of the presents, all of the adoration, for just a little more time.

  She came up gasping. Usually, she could empty her mind completely with a good hard swim, but today it had been too much. Today, she couldn’t even use the water to quell the anxiety. How could she? The water was her enemy. It was exactly the thing that was going to kill her. She felt panic mixed with bile rise in her throat. She had to get out of here. She needed to get away from the water. She looked around at where she had stopped. Of course, she still had at least a quarter of the pool to get to the edge. She began to swim above water, unable to put her face in it even though she knew she could go faster if she did. She was breathing heavy and her heart was pounding in her head. It was as if she could feel the water swallowing her whole. Finally, as if by a miracle, her hand touched the wall of the pool. She leapt out as quickly as she could and began to shake. She sank to the floor, unable to walk around the pool to her awaiting towel by the door. She drew her knees up to her chest and rocked while the panic swept through her body.

  After what seemed like an eternity, her body began to feel like her own again. She stood slowly, noticing the jelly-like feeling in her legs that had nothing to do with her swim, and began to walk carefully around the pool as close to the wall as she could walk. She reached her towel and wrapped it around herself allowing its warmth to chase away the coldness at her core. She wouldn’t think about it. Like Khi had said, she could not let the strain overwhelm her in this year. If she ever needed her inner strength, it was now. She finished drying herself off and covered herself in a plush robe hanging by the door. She threw a wary glance over her shoulder at the pool before she slammed the door behind her and proceeded to her room. Upon entering her room, she walked into a horde of stylists waiting for her.

  Damn, she thought, I forgot about the stupid dinner.

  She could barely stand on her own two feet, let alone spend a half hour being primped by stylists followed by a two to three hour dinner event in her honor. But in a move that would have made her mother proud she straightened her spine, anchored her feet, and erased the emotion from her face. She could put on a good face for a few more hours. She could set aside her own needs to serve a purpose for the Government. After all, she was The Sacrifice.

  Alessa gazed at the girl in the mirror. The stylists had outdone themselves, as usual. She wore a gold sheath dress, emblazoned with sequins that hugged her athletic frame and showed off her lithe legs perfectly. The dress was fitted close to her body, but not so tight that she looked trashy, and stopped just above the middle of her thigh. It had a wide scooped neck and modest sleeves halfway down her upper arm. It was perfect: conservative enough to be classy, but revealing enough to be fun. Her makeup was subtle, to compliment the dramatic dress, and her blonde hair fell in soft curls over one shoulder. They had pinned her hair so that it was pulled back on one side, showing off her collarbone and delicate neck, and was cascading down the other side.

  “Thank you.”She said almost breathlessly as she studied herself,“You all have done a fabulous job.”

  “Well ma’am, we have an exquisite canvas.”Her lead stylist, Lai, replied.

  She gave him a quick hug,“You are too kind,”she said sweetly,“Thank you all again. I will see you next time.”

  She escaped from the room just as the chorus of“thank you for your Sacrifice”began.

  Alessa hurried down the halls towards the formal dining room. Although she had planned to make them wait while she swam, she had not anticipated her panic attack and felt bad for the added delay. Not that anyone would chastise her for it, except for perhaps Khilyn, but he wouldn’t mean it. All of the ones that would be offended by her tardiness would never say anything to her face, and that suited her fine.

  When she entered the hall, each face in the room turned to greet her. The ornate Dining Room was filled with golds and reds. Her stomach began to rumble at the delicious smells coming from the bounty of food sitting on the table. She had not realized how hungry she was. As she stood at the top of the landing, guests began to clap politely and the Minister approached her. She nodded at him, he was a seemingly pleasant man who had always catered to her wishes, but something about him made her feel that she should be cautious.

  “Sacrifice, dear, I am so glad you made it.”He words were dripping with zeal.

  “Oh, Soren, please call me Alessa!”She smiled brilliantly at him. His insistence on calling her“Sacrifice”as if it were her name was a constant source of irritation for her.

  “Of course, dear Sacrifice.”He replied sweetly.“Please, come sit down and we will begin.”

  She allowed him to take her arm and guide her to the head of the table, where she sat at his left. Khilyn, of course, was beside her, and her parents were around the corner to his right. The Minister tapped his glass with his knife, and Alessa cringed inwardly.

  “Attention, attention.”He spoke with an inflated sense of self-importance,“Our beloved Sacrifice has arrived and we may now begin our celebration. Out of the centuries of our history, the advent of the Sacrifice has hailed our greatest prosperity. In this, the last year before our Beloved Sacrifice’s Fourth Ceremony, may we celebrate her life along with the ultimate sacrifice she intends to make for the opulence of us all!”

  The people around the table, mostly Government officials, exclaimed their assent as they raised their glasses. Light music played in the background as the staff descended on the table to begin serving the feast. Alessa felt sick. Her hands became clammy and she was rendered incapable of moving as the staff person behind her tried to fill her plate. She felt wooden and disconnected. Khilyn touched her arm.

  “Less, are you okay?”He looked serious and concerned.

  “I, uh, I mean, I don’t know…I don’t think…”She couldn’t complete a thought.

  “You went for a swim before you came here, right?”His voice was quiet, just for her.

  She looked around, the faces were slowly losing their celebratory excitement as they observed her and concerned murmurs were swelling around the table. No one was touching their food, as it was customary for them to begin once Alessa had.

  “Less, did you swim?”Khi sounded urgent. She nodded stiffly, feeling detached and distant. Khi arose from the table and approached the Minister, who was examining Alessa carefully. She heard him speak. Although he gave the impression that his words were only for the Minister, she imagined that
at least the first ten people at the table could hear him.

  “Sir, it seems that Alessa has exhausted herself today. She spent most of the afternoon interacting with the crowd celebrating outside and went for a swim before dinner. Although she insists she must stay, I would suggest continuing the dinner without her so that she might rest and recuperate. I fear for her health, sir.”

  Khi to the rescue, Alessa thought to herself. He always seemed to know exactly what she needed.

  “Of course, of course.”The Minister responded,“You should be more careful about planning your swims, dear Sacrifice. You are quite the athlete, but no one can do everything.”He added towards her. Then, to the table, he announced,“Our dear Sacrifice is going to retire to her room, today’s celebrations have been a bit much for her. She insists that we continue our celebration in earnest in her absence.”

  Khi came over to Alessa and whispered over her shoulder,“Can you walk?”She nodded again. She wasn’t sure what her face looked like, but it must be disturbing. Khi was treating her like an injured kitten. As she stood, she steeled herself long enough to gently push Khi’s hand from her arm and turn to the table full of people.

  “Thank you all for your concern. I will be myself again by dawn. I’m simply exhausted from the day, as the Minister explained. I apologize that I must leave early. Please do not let it hinder your evening.”She leaned down between her parents, whose faces were awash with concern, and said quietly,“Really, I’m fine. Just very tired.”

  She began to walk proudly out of the room, determined not to let them see her use Khilyn for support. Luckily, she made it out of the door and halfway down the first hall before she stumbled and Khilyn insisted on keeping an arm around her.

  “What in the world is going on?”He demanded as they walked.“Did you swim to the next sector or something?”His voice would have sounded angry to anyone who didn’t know him, but Alessa knew it was barely controlled concern.

  “We’ll talk in my room,”she replied quietly, which mollified him.

  “Okay, talk.”He said as soon as they were in her room and settled on her favorite couch by the closet. Alessa paused for a moment, collecting her thoughts.

  “I think I had a panic attack while I was swimming. I know I did. I couldn’t stop thinking about drowning and the Sacred Ocean and I couldn’t even make it across the pool one time. I thought I would drown there in the pool I was so debilitated. And then, when I got out, I couldn’t even walk to the other side of the room to leave. My chest hurt and my head hurt and I thought my heart might pound out of my chest. I couldn’t breathe. Then, the Minister started talking about celebrating my life and all. It’s like I’m already gone Khi, it’s like they’ve already killed me and I just don’t know it yet.”The words were coming out of her mouth fast and jumbled. She was breathing hard and her face felt hot. Khi didn’t speak. He just looked at her with sad eyes.

  “I would do it for you if I could, Less.”She could barely hear him in the silent room. His voice was soft and so sad.

  “Oh, Khi! I don’t want you to feel guilty. I don’t want you to feel anything bad. I’m so sorry!”

  “It’s okay,”he said, some of his typical command returning to his voice,“it’s all going to be okay, Less, you’ll see. It’s going to be okay.”

  He pulled her to him and ran his fingers lightly over her back. She laid there, safe in his arms, while she drifted off to sleep. What seemed like a few seconds later, he stirred her.

  “Come on, you need to get ready for bed.”He spoke gently, and the image of an injured kitten returned to her mind.

  He went into her closet and came back out with shorts and a t-shirt in his hands. He turned politely as she changed. He put his arm around her and guided her to her bed on the far end of the expansive room after she dressed.

  “Lay down.”He instructed.

  She obeyed. But when she saw him turn to leave, she sat back up.

  “Khi, will you stay? Just until I fall asleep? I know you’re probably tired and all, but please don’t go yet.”She was practically begging, but with the panic barely staying on the other side of her control, she was not beyond begging at all.

  “Of course I will, Less. Lay back down.”

  She stretched back out on the bed and he laid down beside her. She cuddled up to his side and he hugged her close. With her guard and best friend helping her, maybe she could make it through the next year. She just had to find a way not to think about it. She had to find a way to control the panic. She had to find her inner strength. She could borrow from Khi. He had plenty of extra strength. Yes, that was it. She would borrow Khi’s strength. She felt more powerful just thinking about it. She wrapped her arm around his chest and listened to his heart beat as she drifted off to sleep.

  Chapter 2-

  Alessa sighed and stretched out her hand. The first thing she noticed was the cushioned pillow under her cheek where Khi’s firm chest used to sit. As consciousness teased the edges of her mind, a memory tickled at her thoughts. A gentle squeeze of her hand, a barely audible whisper“I’m leaving, Less”, and a light kiss on her forehead. The slight shift of the bed under her body was the final signal of his departure.

  Alessa kept her eyes closed. This was her favorite time of day. She loved how the sun’s rays drifted in through the sheer curtains and warmed her skin. She loved that moment before she became fully awake, when she could pretend she was anyone in the world, anywhere in the world, at any time in the past or future. She reached her arms over her head, stretching until her fingers touched the cherry wood of her headboard and pushed herself away from it until her toes grazed the foot of her sleigh bed. Reluctantly, she opened her eyes. It was Wednesday, training day.

  Ever since she began training at age six, she had loved it. She enjoyed learning self-defense tactics and personal discipline. She adored feeling like she was powerful and strong, but mostly she loved pushing her body to its limits and finding ways that it could go farther.

  After mentally processing through her day and getting her wits about her, Alessa rose from bed and padded across the plush white carpet to her bathroom. She washed her face and brushed her teeth. Upon glancing in the mirror, she decided that a full shower was in order. She had forgotten that she practically fell into bed the night before after barely changing out of her party dress. She finished her shower, pulled her hair into a wet bun, and quickly dressed. The only time she was on a schedule was when she was due for training. Evan said it was part of the discipline. Alessa just thought it was extremely inconvenient.

  Alessa ran breathlessly into the training room. She had jogged the last part of the way in order to squeeze through the door just as the clock struck ten.

  “You’re late.”Evan’s steady voice echoed in the mirrored room.

  Alessa couldn’t help but think that the room looked more like a dance studio than a training room. The walls were covered in mirrors so that she could be sure her positions were correct. If it wasn’t for the equipment littered about the room, she would be sure that eight year olds in tutus would come bursting through the door at any moment.

  “I am most certainly not late! Look at the clock, ten on the nose!”Alessa protested, although she was sure it would do her no good. Alessa liked Evan, liked that there was someone who pushed her limits, but he was strict and stern and kept everything down to business.

  “On time might as well be late. You are not efficient unless you are early. You are not disciplined unless you are efficient. What time did you wake up?”Evan’s cool tone indicated that he knew the answer before she spoke.

  “I don’t really see why that matters, Evan.”

  “I know for a fact that you only recently woke up. I also know for a fact that you are starting today with an extra mile for your witty retorts. You might practice some self-control while you run.”Evan looked at her sternly, but she knew that he was helping her, making her better, and for that she could forgive his sternness.

  Alessa followe
d Evan through the far door to the track outside of the training room. Together, they began a steady jog. One of the things she appreciated about Evan was that he always worked out with her. It helped her to know that he only made her do what he thought was important enough to do himself.

  After the six miles were over, five for their normal routine and the extra one for her sassy attitude, Evan and Alessa returned to the training room and began her drills. Evan taught Alessa how to defend herself when facing an attacker, showed her the most vulnerable places on a person, and ran her through circuit workouts that made every muscle in her body burn with the thrill of getting stronger. Alessa could hardly remember a time when she didn’t do her training classes. Marston had practically insisted upon it and her father loved the idea that she could be equipped to handle herself. She remembered rebelling against it when she was a few years younger. She couldn’t understand how it would ever be necessary when she was never left alone for more than a moment. Then her father pointed out the physical benefits of the training along with reminding her that anything can happen in life and she was sold. Of course, her father could often convince her that anything was a good idea.

  When they were almost finished with their cool down, Alessa heard the main door to the training room open. In the mirrors, she saw Khi walk through the door with two men behind him.

  “I’m so sorry to interrupt, Evan.”Khi said politely.

  “No, no. No interruption. We are finished. Alessa, remember, next time be on time.”Evan reminded her with a frown.

  “Which, of course, means be early." She retorted.

  “Maybe you aren’t a completely hopeless cause.”He responded with a small smile.

  Alessa watched as Evan sauntered out of the room, every bit as sweaty and worked as she was, but carried it with more grace than she felt that she could pull off in her exhausted state.